sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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