If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
