What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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