it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
