Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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