Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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