She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
