Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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