you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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