If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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