Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you would pick up someone in the library
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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