My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
