Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
