You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I want to fling myself into the sun
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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