he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
