Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
