I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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