He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
