how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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