..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
