I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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