She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
