at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
