Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My room smells like vodka and shame
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
