HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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