Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
