it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
