Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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