i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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