Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
