I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
