How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
