Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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