What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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