I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
