If i come over, it means nothing
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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