Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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