you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
