you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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