ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bet he comes in French.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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