Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
