Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
