She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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