i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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