How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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