doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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