You made me cry and you don't even care
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
