Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Actions speak louder than pants.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
