she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
