Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
