Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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