I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
